Dear Darling,
I have a friend who may be a compulsive liar. She tells me things that I know aren’t true and I’m getting tired of it. But she is also very sensitive and I know if I confront her about it, she’ll react very negatively.
What is the best way to approach her without hurting her too badly?
-Concerned Friend

I think there’s a couple of things you need to ask yourself. Are you a concerned friend, or are you a tired, frustrated friend who wants to catch her in a lie so you can pull an “in your face” moment and the cafeteria will erupt in applause and everyone will give you their chicken nuggets??? Sorry, I just woke up from the weirdest dream… But I think it’s a fair thing to think about. If someone is lying to you, they’re not being a good friend. And if you’re unwilling to clear the air because you don’t want to hurt their feelings, you’re not being a good friend. I mean sure, we could go into great detail about setting up a hidden camera and an elaborate scheme of catching her in a lie, but what would be the point – as awesome as that sounds, it would be hurtful. If you don’t feel comfortable enough to say “I don’t believe you” then there’s more wrong with this friendship than a slew of untruths (that’s a fancy way to say lie – I got a synonym app!)

If you really want keep this friendship going, and you simply can’t stand listening to them talk about their 2nd trip to Mars, then you need to confront them. Privately. Someone who is unhappy enough to live in a fake reality doesn’t need any public ridicule. Be open, be patient, be sympathetic and try to find out why they lie. Yeah, it’s gonna be awkward…VERY awkward. But if sitting through a couple of really uncomfortable conversations seems like too much, then maybe this friendship isn’t meant to last. But if you can swallow that fear and show them that you care about them, the real them, you might just end up with a lifelong camaraderie (synonym: friendship).

Dear Darling,
My mother and I used to get along just fine but lately I’ve been feeling irritated about EVERYTHING she does. I think she’s actually trying to make me feel stupid. Should I talk to her about this or try to ignore it? HELP!
Ilana

Never fear, for Michael is here! Sometimes family can be the most magical, functional thing in your life. And other times? It can make you wanna scream until that little dangly thing in the back of your throat comes flying out of your mouth like a broken punching bag! But at the end of the day, they’re still your family. Friends come and go, girlfriends move to Canada, but family…that’s it man!

I say talk to your mom, and be honest! It’ll help her understand why you’ve been short tempered. Hormones are crazy, friggin’ mind demons my friend. And if there’s one thing that pamphlet from my hot school nurse taught me, it’s that they don’t stop raging after your teens. Give your mom a fighting chance to know what’s going on, and to not to take everything you say personally.

Plus, there’s a chance your mom is acting a little crazy. Maybe she’s having a hard time with work, maybe other parts of the family are stressing her out, MAYBE, just maybe she’s an undercover assassin for the Intergalactic Space Squad and her alien target just escaped to Russia! Just talk to her. Parents often try to hide their problems from their kids to protect them, but if you really want your relationship to get closer to where it was before, it’s got to start with some honesty.

I recently went through something similar with a family member and trust me; acting like nothing has changed only makes things worse! If she had just….they, if they had just talked to me, things would have been a lot easier.

Well that’s my 75 cents for the day! Get some good snacks (I have several recommendations if needed) and hunker down for a good talk with mom.

Dear Darling,
So excited you’re going to be answering questions now! I’m on my college campus over the summer working, but my usual group is gone. What are your best friend-making tips?

–In Need of Friends

Ahh summer time. A time for sunshine and sun tea and COMPLETE AND UTTER BOREDOM BECAUSE EVERYONE IS ON VACATION. It’s hard when you’re friends leave town. You want to go to the movies and get ice cream and burgers and ice cream burgers (patent pending) but with who??

 Making new friends is never easy, but meeting new people while knowing that your regular compadres will be back in town in August can seem extra hard. So here it is Darlingites:
MICHAEL’S TOTALLY AWESOME GUIDE TO MAKING SUMMER FRIENDS QUICKLY WITHOUT BEING WEIRD OR AWKWARD
(or for short, M.T.A.G.T.M.S.F.Q.W.B.W.O.A.)

Tip 1: Work Friends
You said you are working, which using my innate sense of perception, tells me that you have a job. Unless your job is sitting in a room alone and pressing a giant red button every time the purple light comes on, you probably have co-workers. Use them! Talk to them! Find out if you have any similar interests, ask if anyone wants to grab some fries from that cool place where they bring your food to you on roller skates. Bring in donuts! Everyone likes donuts! You might just find out that you’ve been working with friends this whole time without even realizing it!

Tip 2: Clubs ‘N Stuff
Maybe everyone you work with is lame, or maybe you don’t wanna mix work and free time (I get it, I don’t like to mix pizza and peanut butter before 6pm). If that’s the case, then you need to explore new worlds, seek out new friends and new civilizations, to boldly go…to a book club or something! With the help of our best friend, the internet, you can find all kinds of activities! People who like to go on exciting outdoor adventures, groups that go to different restaurants and rate their mashed potatoes on a scale of 1 to Life Changing. If your campus doesn’t have a great activities calendar or you’re not finding the right fit, check out sites like Living Social! The key is, once you’re there – start a conversation. Get to know the people around you, and BOOM! New Summer Friends.

Tip 3: Follow up and Follow Through
None of these tips will work if you don’t answer your text messages!!! Sometimes when we’re sad and missing people, we can shut down and turn off. If someone you met at that free fencing class you found on Groupon sends you a text asking if you wanna hang out, say YUSSSSSSSS! That awesome, cool new friend you found could disappear pretty quickly if you never actually follow through on making more plans. On the flip side, when it comes to people responding to your friendship advances, take Cia’s advice and have a rubber band friendship heart. Wait about 2 and half minutes wondering if they’ll reply to your text about grabbing pizza and then MOVE ON! Summer is short, and no one wants to spend it staring at their phones (unless it’s to watch Dear Darling Vlogs of course!).

So there you have it the M.T.A.G.T.M.S.F.Q.W.B.W.O.A.! Making new friends during the summer can be really exciting. Who knows! You might meet a new friend that totally jives with your regular crew and they’ll all thank you for making the group even better! And Hey, if it turns out your summer friends aren’t all that great – you’re old friends will be back soon!

Michael OUT!