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Dear Darling – SELF HELP!

by Michael Darling
— 2 Comments ↓

Dear Darling,
Hey Michael it’s Michael! How are you? Never mind I know exactly how you’re doing – you’re freaking out! Everything is changing and I don’t know what to do! Today I saw John wearing a wrinkled shirt. A WRINKLED SHIRT!!! If that is not a clear sign that these are the end times than I don’t know what is! So I guess my question to me is…How do you stay calm when you have no friggin’ idea what will happen next, and down is up, and right is wrong, and good is bad, and you’re completely OUT OF CHEESY POOFS!?!?!?!!1

Sincerely Michael Darling.

Well, Michael I can tell by your punctuation that you are A) very handsome B) very cool and C) super stressed out.  And my advice to you is…I DON’T KNOW!  And what do I do when I’m lost?  Watch cartoons!!! So please enjoy this advice:

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Posted in Dear Darling
Posted on September 9, 2015

Work vs Play

by Michael Darling
— No Comments ↓

How do you manage work and play? My personal experience has been a bit sketchy, especially nearing exam times, and I would like to hear your advice.

-Zoe

This is an awesome question Zoe my darlingite!  Especially when everyone is getting ready to head back to school!

We all have important things that we have to do.  You have to do your homework, you have to clean your room, you have to organize your dvd collection by ability to make you laugh so hard milk comes out your nose.  But it’s also important to LIVE!  It’s important to go outside and play tag with the squirrels, to try every ice cream flavor they have at the Jolly Roger Soda Shop , to puke rainbows because you ate 40 pounds of ice cream, to have FUN!

But you have to have balance.

Many of you know my brother John.  A while back, he was in a place where work was his number one priority.  He would work 25 hours a day, yes 25.  He was so efficient that somehow he managed to get an extra hour out of every day!  It was driving him crazy!  And then you have my, old friend, Peter.  Peter was so focused on only doing things he thought were fun that he lost his job.  If you give work too much time, you’ll isolate yourself from the rest of the world.  But if you abandon all your responsibilities, you’ll disappoint the people who are counting on you and end up just as alone.

Later in life, you can find work that actually makes you happy!  I love talking to all of my darlingites, so work and play are sorta the same thing!  For now, while you’re in school, just make sure you keep that balance!  Try rewarding yourself for spending an hour studying by drawing a picture of your teacher and his goofy tie!  Or maybe read the chapters your assigned outside to get some fresh air!   Whatever you do, keep it balanced 🙂

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Posted in Dear Darling
Posted on September 2, 2015

Dear Darling – She loves me…not?

by Michael Darling
— 1 Comment ↓

How do you get over someone who you liked but didn’t like you back?
-PersonNeedingMichael’sWisdom
Well, PersonNeedingMichael’sWisdom, first of all…What an awesome name!!! I mean, how crazy is it that your mom named you PersonNeedingMichael’sWisdom?? What are the odds?!?! There are no coincidences, only things that happen by total random chance, so I am excited to be the Michael that offers the wisdom you need!

Second of all, this is rough. I know it’s hard to believe, because I’m so muscular and handsome and funny and charming, but this has happened to me. (GASP) We don’t have as much control over how we feel as we’d like to think we do and sometimes you see someone and BAM! Feelings just pounce on you, like a…like a TIGER! But we have even less control over how other people feel.

The most important thing to remember is that it isn’t a reflection on how good or bad you are. Sometimes our brains are jerks and tell us that if So-and-So doesn’t like us, then we shouldn’t like ourselves. Well that is dog poop! Don’t listen to it! You take that thought and you throw that right in the trash! Who knows what the other person is thinking, don’t over-analyze it, don’t get all macho (or girl-cho?) and become angry at them. They are not required to like you back. And odds are, there is someone around who does like you and hasn’t told you yet, and seeing you deal with rejection badly might totally turn them off.

Chin up. Literally. Walk tall, walk proud. Realize that you will be enough, NAY, you will be excessively awesome for someone else. And until that time comes you’re just gonna keep getting better and better. And maybe that person who wasn’t into you will come running crying “Wait! Wait! I see it now, you’re the most amazingest, there will never be one more cool, give me another chance!” and you’ll just tip your sunglasses and say “Sorry, that ship has sailed” and walk away in slo-mo.

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Posted in Dear Darling
Posted on August 12, 2015

Dear Darling – Long Distance Friendships

by Michael Darling
— No Comments ↓

Hello! Long time reader, first time writer. So, how do you manage to stay close to people when long distance is a problem? A lot of my friends are going off to college far away, and I am terrified of growing apart because of distance. Thank you!
-Ysabelle
@fandomfeline

 

Hey Ysabelle! I too have been reading a long time so we’re basically the same person, I shall now call you Michael 2. Ironically, which is the correct use of that word, Michael 1 (me) has been having a very similar problem. My sister moved away because she got a job making oodles of money doing what she loves. Which is great, for her, I guess. And your friends are probably super excited about their new schools. It’s important to give the people we love room to be happy. Sometimes that means seeing them less and even talking to them less.

You can only control you Michael 2, so do your best to stay involved! Social media has given us the ability to be close to people we’ve never even met (did you know you can tweet @ the president??) so use those super powers to stay up to date with your friends! And don’t forget the mailman! Or woman. Mailperson! They don’t only deliver boring things like important looking tax papers addressed to your brother than you keep forgetting to give him. They also deliver packages!!! There is LITERALLY nothing more exciting than getting a package. Fill a small box with a few of their favorite things, little things to remind them that you still care, and mail it out.

But at the end of the day, the easiest way to make sure you don’t grow apart, is to talk. Answer your phone, return missed calls, reach out to them, and I promise Michael 2, it’ll make a big difference.

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Posted in Dear Darling
Posted on July 29, 2015

Time to Travel

by Wendy Darling
— 3 Comments ↓

DEAR WENDY DARLING,
I love your videos and I hope I could get some advice from you. What should you do if your family doesn’t approve of your career choice? I want to work in the travel industry because ever since I was a kid, I wanted to see the world. It’s what I love to do. But it just seems like my family doesn’t understand. I know they mean well but it still hurts that they’re unsupportive of your dreams.
-NIGHTSHADE

HELLO MY DARLING NIGHTSHADE,
The travel industry sounds absolutely amazing!  I myself have been traveling a lot recently and let me tell you…the world… is… INCREDIBLE!  There is so much out there to explore, see and EAT! Some of the food I’ve had has made me seriously question if I ever knew what love was before.  I may have gotten engaged to an éclair in France. Our love was short…but delicious.

200_s

But you and I both already agree that traveling and seeing the world is AHMAZEBALLS…the problem is your family doesn’t think so. There are usually 3 main reasons family members don’t support a career choice.

1). They think it’s unstable and you won’t be able to support yourself on it!

This is the problem faced by many people, especially those who want to pursue a career in the arts.)

2). They are worried it’s dangerous.

My brother Michael once said he wanted to join the army…my mother was a hysterical wreck at the thought of her baby boy in harms way.

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Luckily, Michael’s short-term memory is…lacking…and he quickly forgot he wanted to join the army and decided he wanted to be a “guy that trains dogs to do cool stuff like…stuff…that’s cool.”

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3). They think the job will take you away.

Which the job you want will literally do just that!

The travel industry is a pretty stable and decent paying career…so I don’t think it’s #1.  Now, travel can be dangerous, so there could be a bit of #2 in the mix.  However, I’m going to put my money on #3.  I’m betting you and your family are pretty close, and they don’t like the idea of you being so far away so often. In a lot of ways, it’s very sweet…BUT…it’s also not their life.  In their heart of hearts they want you to be happy, and if working in travel makes you happy, then in the end (even if they don’t like it now) they will accept what you do and be proud of you (but in the beginning maybe snag them awesome souvenirs from your travels to let them know you’re thinking about them…and call home regularly!) Remember, life is a short and precious gift, and doing anything less than what makes you happy is a waste of that gift.

Till next time My Darlings!

ALWAYS YOURS,
WENDY

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Posted in Ask Wendy, Dear Darling
Posted on August 15, 2014

Put That Fear On Its Rear

by Wendy Darling
— No Comments ↓

DEAR WENDY DARLING,
Your videos are amazing but I had a question. I am actually afraid of growing up and getting out into the world, and you seem like you are really excited to get out there, so how do you do it?  Have the guts to get out there and try new things I mean?
SINCERELY,
CAT

HI CAT!
Thanks you so much! I’m so glad you like my videos!  Oooh, trust me there is nothing easy about growing up and getting out there and trying new things. In fact, I’ve found that all the biggest decisions in life come with a nice side of doubt and fear.  For me, I use the fear as a motivator, as a challenge, as a dare! Instead of letting it hold me down I let it propel me forward.

shark

But really, My Darling, in the end it comes down to what makes you happy.  I have people in my life who are completely happy living the same way day in and day out… and they’ve shown me that there is nothing wrong with that because they are HAPPY!  Me, I need to try new things, see new sites, to push myself and experience the unknown to truly be happy.  Life is short and it is precious and you shouldn’t waste it either pursuing or not pursuing things that don’t bring you joy.  If you find something that will make you happy, even if you know it’s a big and scary change, I promise you that you’ll find the strength to go for it.
UNTIL NEXT TIME, MY DARLINGS!

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Posted in Ask Wendy, Dear Darling
Posted on August 5, 2014

Remote “Ask Dear Darling”

by Wendy Darling
— No Comments ↓

Hello My Darlings,

Change is often difficult…sometimes it’s down right heartbreaking…but change doesn’t always have to mean the end. I promised you before I left that I’d always be just an email away, and I plan to keep that promise. So while I’ve started my job in the big city, I shall still be doing my “Ask Dear Darling” weekly advice column for the Kensington Chronicle…at least in the interim until they find a new columnist. So, My Darlings, what can I help you with today?

Always yours,
Wendy Darling

(Note from the Assistant Editor-in-Chief, John Darling: Please direct your “Dear Darling” inquiries to the form in the sidebar of this page.)

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Posted in Ask Wendy, Dear Darling
Posted on July 31, 2014

College Means Cookies

by Wendy Darling
— No Comments ↓

DEAR DARLING
I’m fixing to go to college. What’s something important to remember about getting out there in the world on your own for the first time? Also, good luck with your job applications!
-BRITTANY

OOOH BRITTANY
I’m so excited for you! Going off to college is such a magical and special time.  For many people it’s the first time they are away from their family and friends, the first time they get to make all their own decisions.  Want cookies for dinner? YOU HAVE THOSE COOKIES!

oprah-cookie

But college is also a lot of really hard work. It’s long hours both in and out of the classroom and there’s a lot of pressure to succeed… and I want you to succeed… I want you to work hard and get the skills and education necessary to make your dream come true, but if there’s ONE piece of advice I can give you, one thing I’d want you to remember, one thing I wish I’d done differently… it’s make sure you have fun.  I worked tirelessly to get “straight A’s” but let me tell you, no one cares if you got an ‘A’ on that math test or a ‘B’ they just care that you have the diploma.  I missed out on a lot of fun by staying in my room to study for test that have zero barring on my life right now.  I missed out on making memories so I could make an ‘A+’ instead of an  ‘A’ and I don’t even remember what class it was for.  As I said, My Darling, I’m not telling you to slack off.  It’s important to work hard in school and get good grades or you’re just wasting your time, but if all you do is work you’re also wasting your life.  Have a wonderful time, Brittany, I’m always just an email away if you have any problems.

Till next time My Darlings!

P.S. Beware those student loans! They’re like signing your soul away!

signing-college-loans

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Posted in Ask Wendy, Dear Darling
Posted on July 18, 2014

Is He In To You?

by Wendy Darling
— 1 Comment ↓

DEAR DARLING,
My best friend recently moved to a new city, and she’s having trouble with dating. She’s met a few guys, but they’re either distant or putting on too much pressure. She needs some advice on how to tell whether guy is actually interested. I’ve been off the scene for almost fifteen years, so I’m no help. Can you give some pointers?
-LEIGH

HI LEIGH AND FRIEND OF LEIGH!
Congrats on moving to a new city! That’s so exciting! With that move comes a lot of new adventures, and one age old one if you’re single, DATING! But when you start out on that dating journey how do you know a guy’s intention? How do you know if he really likes you or if he just wants to…umm…park his car in your garage? Well, while there is really no sure fire way to tell, here are some tips.

1.) PRESSURE: If the guy is pressuring you to do something you don’t want to do…or aren’t ready to do then…

lemon-dealbreaker

2.) DATES: What kind of dates is he taking you on? If the dates are always at night, always one on one, and his main objective seems to be to get you drunk then he probably has only one end game in mind!

3.) TIME: How long have you known this guy? How many dates have you been on? How often is he contacting you before or after dates?  If you guys have been going out for a couple of weeks and the guy seems like he’s genuinely putting in the effort to see and talk to you (and not just at night on dates) then you may have found a guy who is genuinely into you!

Bottom line, FRIEND OF LEIGH, if a guy isn’t putting in the time and effort to show you he likes you, or is trying to pressure you into something you aren’t ready for…then he’s not the kind of guy you should waste your time dating, and definitely not the kind you want parking his car anyway!
Till next time My Darlings!

 

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Posted in Ask Wendy, Dear Darling
Posted on July 4, 2014

Can You Force Love?

by Wendy Darling
— No Comments ↓

DEAR DARLING,
There is a guy I really really like, we went out a couple of time, and I enjoy being with him. I think he enjoys being with me. But nothing happened. He told me he was focusing on his work. I really think I am the one for him and he is the one for me.
What can I do to make it happen?
I am so afraid of what could happen if he rejects me and that it breaks our friendship.
Can you help me, Wendy?
-BLEU IN NEVERLAND

OH BLEU,
If only we could make love happen! Life would be so much easier then. If we could just point a magic wand and yell, “ACCIO LOVE!”

dear-darling-accio

But unfortunately that’s just not how life works…and to be honest, love wouldn’t be as magical and special if it did.  All you can do is respect his wishes, stay friends, and see if things change naturally…BUT don’t put your own life and heart on pause waiting for him! Keep both open, you never know where or when love will suddenly appear…just like magic.
Till next time My Darlings!

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Posted in Ask Wendy, Dear Darling
Posted on July 4, 2014
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