Every Monday, John Darling posts an editorial article documenting and challenging the latest in Neverland, Ohio.
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This week, if you fine readers would indulge me, I thought I’d highlight each of the categories on my personal Pinterest page, in an effort to help all of you get to know me a little better.
I am a firm believer that umbrellas need not be saved up for a rainy day!
“A well-tied tie is the first serious step in life.” – Oscar Wilde
Your office should be your home away from home: Furnish accordingly.
A well-ordered room begets a well-ordered mind.
I love a home decked out in pure, unadulterated white (although sometimes that and little brothers don’t mix).
Clean every day like it’s your last.
Even broken records are music to my ears.
To this day, no one holds a candle to the old masters.
If you need more than one panel, you’re doing it wrong.
For me, there’s naught more calming than a bird on the wing.
You can tell a lot about a man from his penmanship.
Right around the time that most of the so-called millennials were partying like it was 1999, psychologist Jeffrey Arnett coined the term “emerging adulthood,” which, appropriately enough, would come to describe the epidemic of protracted adolescence that is quickly becoming the most defining trait of my generation. In the eyes of the world, the generation of people born after 1980 seem either unwilling or unable to grow up. Some people blame it on the overinvolvement of so-called “helicopter parents” who hover around their children so ubiquitously that they never learn how to deal with adversity themselves. On the other hand, many reactionaries are ready to diagnose our entire generation with narcissistic personality disorder. As with most important issues, I believe the whole thing is a lot more nuanced than that.
In a lot of ways, the youngest members of the Kensington Chronicle family are prototypical millennials. And in a few cases, it’s not even an exaggeration to call it a family, since, to the extent that we are employed at all, myself, my brother, Michael, and my sister, Wendy, all work at a newspaper which just happens to be owned by our dear father. You might think it’s a pretty cushy setup, being poster children for nepotism at our dad’s small business. And you’d be right, up to a point. But it doesn’t do much to impress upon us the importance of responsibility and financial independence. I talk a good game, but KensingtonChronicle.com – at least so far – is like the red-headed stepchild of the print publishing division. And I’m not saying that all of what my siblings and I do for the Chronicle is incredibly work intensive, but when you boil it down to dollars and cents, our salaries don’t amount to much more than a pittance, certainly nothing even remotely approaching a living wage. Wendy, Michael and I are all in our mid-to-late 20s, and the only way that we can afford a place of our own is because we’re splitting it three ways. And this isn’t because our father is a penny-pinching miser, either: it’s because there’s simply not enough money to go around.
I think this is a good example, in miniature, of our generation’s seeming inability to grow up. Secondary school is now a requirement for any young person who wants to be competitive in the shrinking job marketplace, a hurdle which was not present even a generation ago. The good news is, this makes us the most educated cohort of young Americans in our country’s history. But on the flip side, with our schooling now extending into our 20s at least, the onus of crushing financial-aid debt that many college students find themselves under at the outset of their post-college careers, and a recession-culture job market that underpays and undervalues their more-than-qualified workforce, is it any wonder that my generation appears to be floundering? That it takes us years to start families, not only because we can barely afford to take care of ourselves, but also because the rat-race to stay above the poverty line is so all-encompassing that it renders us ill-equipped, from the a time-management and emotional-growth standpoint, to even know how to carry on healthy romantic relationships?
In Neverland, it is particularly difficult to cast off the chains of childhood, due in no small part to the fact that magic is, in one form or another, part and parcel to our everyday lives. In fairy society, youth is famously a prerequisite for holding any position of power – a fact which our fairy friend Tinker Bell very vocally laments (though I dare not print her age, lest I see my own “emerging adulthood” cut tragically short). And Peter Pan, our cartoonist at the Chronicle… Okay, it’s possible he actually does have narcissistic personality disorder. But it’s equally possible that young people are simply narcissists as a matter of course, and that as our generation is forced to hold tight to the reins of perpetual adolescence, so, too, do we cling to that particular excess of youth. But fear not, people of Earth: we are not, in the final analysis, a generation of lost boys and girls. Your millennials are, in fact, growing up; It’s just that growing up isn’t what it used to be.
Hello, my darlings! Since the purpose of KensingtonChronicle.com is to bring the paper into the digital age, we’ve decided that, going forward, my advice column will be accepting online submissions as well. If you have a question you think I might be able to answer, fill out the form on the right side of the “Dear Darling” page and I’ll do my best to help!
Since I routinely use this space to spotlight some of our more noteworthy Neverland natives, I thought it was about time we dedicated a piece to one of our most renowned residents, Lily Bagha. Though the Bagha name is known the world over, many people don’t know the story of how this Neverland dynasty was forged.
The Bagha family came to Neverland in the 1920s from West Bengal, India. Lily’s enterprising great grandparents, Sarovar and Priya Bagha, opened a small clothing shop simply called BAGHA, which specialized in garments made of silk. Little did they know that one day, the BAGHA clothing line would become one of the most fashion-forward and sought-after brands in the world, giving Louis Vuitton, Versace, and Gucci a run for their money.
But when Lily Bagha took over as CEO from her mother, Lina Bagha, at the young age of 22, the local phenom had even grander plans. Not content to simply corner the high fashion market, Lily expanded the Bagha brand into the tech market, specializing in tech as far-ranging as phones, computers and even medical technologies. And Lily’s brother, Luke, has even opened a few Bagha restaurants.
Lily Bagha, wearing ModCloth’s Brushstroke of Luck jumpsuit.
When not in the boardroom, Lily can be found in the hottest clubs, restaurants, and venues around the world, usually accompanied by her celebrity friends from the fashion, sports, and entertainment industries. Though Lily is quite the jet setter, she has a special place in her heart for Neverland, where she was born and raised.
Known as a ruthless but brilliant businesswoman, many don’t know about Lily’s philanthropic side. Lily donates millions of dollars per year to children’s hospitals, programs to end global hunger, as well as women’s shelters. She also gives out 20 fully paid college scholarships to young girls in lower income areas who have top academic scores.
When you run a small town newspaper, it can be easy to forget that there’s a much bigger world out there. And with a bigger world comes bigger problems. I know many a Neverlandian who have lost loved ones in service to our great nation, and many more with friends and family who are deployed overseas still. On this, the last Monday of May, it never ceases to amaze me just how vociferously the citizens of this country rally to honor the memories of our dear-departed soldiers, and to throw their support behind the ones who put their lives on the line day in and day out to keep us safe. It’s days like today that make me proud to be an American. But days like today also make me wish that we collectively devoted more than just a single day out of the year to celebrate the heroes that are the men and women of the U.S. military. I don’t mean this as a slight to you, dearest readers; It would be the pot calling the kettle black to not acknowledge that we stalwart defenders of truth at the Kensington Chronicle fall into this trap, too, on an almost daily basis.
Today at our annual Memorial Day barbeque, I plan to spend at least a few minutes pondering whether or not my first-world problems amount to anything more than a hill of beans in this crazy world, how I can become more informed about the nature of the conflicts that currently litter the world stage, and how the Kensington Chronicle can best express our undying support for the men and women of the Armed Forces on a more regular basis. We at the Kensington Chronicle don’t support war as a matter of course, but we do believe there are things in this world worth fighting for. And as long as that remains the case, it does my heart good to know just how passionately and unflinchingly our servicemen and women fight for our rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. For something so fundamental to the safeguarding of democracy, military service is far too often a thankless job.
I am under no illusions that a small town paper like the Kensington Chronicle can do much to sway the hearts and minds of people outside our tight-knit Ohio community, but in the final analysis, I don’t think that we have to. There are papers like this is towns and cities across America, and if we each devote just a small portion of our column inches to this most pressing issue, if we each win over our citizens just a few people at a time, I truly believe we can enact broad-sweeping change. That is the power of local journalism, and today the Kensington Chronicle is redoubling its commitment to wielding that power to remind people of just how much we need the fighting men and women of the U.S. military, and just how much they need us.
Since I was lucky enough to take in the Mermaid Lagoon show this past week at the Neverland Aquarium, I thought I’d devote my editorial this week to great Neverland artists, past and present!
No discussion of Neverland’s storied artistic history could be complete without a mention of Bizzly, the world renowed fairy painter who famously mixed fairy dust in with his paints, which were all homemade from plants found in the Forever Gardens. This dash of magic produced colors so vivid and vibrant that no other artist to this day has ever been able to recreate them. Bizzly’s paintings primarily depicted human and fairy interactions, and they remain some of our most authoritative depictions of the relationship between the local fairy population and the Neverland colonists. Bizzly was, in fact, one of the first generation of fairies to cohabitate with humans. Perhaps his most famous painting is “Never Alone,” a portrait of a fairy consoling a little girl at her parents’ grave. “Never Alone” is supposedly an ode to Bizzly’s adopted human mother Margaret Oglivy, whose parents died when she was young. Bizzly lived with Margaret from his childhood until she died of scarlet fever.
Cora Barrie, a descendant of J.M. Barrie, was an early 1920s novelist who reached international fame for her sci-fi novel “They Are Us.” The seminal novel posits that fairies are the souls of humans after death, and follows a desperate woman trying to find the fairy, and thus the soul, of her dead husband. A big screen adaptation of “They Are Us” is slated for release in 2017.
Guitar/harmonica player Isaac “Dusty Wind” Mannering was a local Neverland blues musician in the 1950s. His breakout single “Dust Cloud Saturday,” chronicling the Great Fairy Dust Storm which caused the lion’s share of fairy families to migrate out of Neverland to parts unknown, was number 1 on the charts for 79 weeks, second only in the record books to Elvis Presley’s 80 weeks at the top of the charts.
Local contemporary actress Tara Ansell is perhaps best known for headlining the popular “Zombie Monkeys” films, but for me, the beautiful and talented actress’ seminal performance will always be her run on a Broadway revival of the hit musical “Oklahoma!”
As I mentioned above, Mermaid Lagoon, currently the most famous band in the world, played a show at the Neverland Aquarium this past Friday to a sold-out crowd, and I for one had… far too much fun. All three band members, lead singer Piper Avalon, drummer Nixie Undine and guitarist Ansem Muirin, were born and raised in Neverland’s own Solomon Lagoon. Piper’s human father abandoned her when she was young, and she has channeled some of that angst into her chart-topping tunes. When Mermaid Lagoon was first starting out, more than 100 record companies passed on the trio of mermaids, but today the band has 4 diamond selling records under their belts and a 5th album on the way. The band is a strong supporter of environmental rights, especially of initiatives to keep our oceans clean. If you’ve never been to a Mermaid Lagoon show, they are not to be missed. Just be sure to keep a rain slicker handy, as Mermaid Lagoon concert-goers tend to get a little wet!
And last but not least, Neverlandians know local architect Lee Scourie as the man behind our majestic new Neverland City Hall building, but Scourie has lent his distinctive style to buildings the world over. Currently, Scourie is in the process of converting some barren Chinese farmland into what he hopes will be a bustling new metropolis!
Exclusive image of Mermaid Lagoon’s new poster, on sale soon!
My dear Neverlandians, just last week we celebrated the 154th anniversary of the founding of Neverland, Ohio, by J.M. Barrie. Every year, my brother Michael, my sister Wendy and our friend Peter Pan (of Peter’s Panels fame) go on an expedition, retracing the path of J.M. Barrie and the people who originally settled our town. This year, we were happy that many of you, our dear friends and neighbors, accompanied us. And this time around, we decided to immortalize our journey on Twitter. As I mentioned in my editorial last week, the KensingtonChronicle.com will very shortly be adding a Storify section to our site, to highlight many of the local stories that make Neverland such a wonderful place to live. As soon as that is up and running, we will be posting an archive of our expedition, for those of you who were unable to attend. During our tour, I mentioned in passing the name Kensington Darling, my ancestor and this newspaper’s namesake. Back in 1862, Kensington founded this very paper, and in honor of our town’s 154th anniversary, I thought I’d take a few minutes to tell you about this seminal figure in Neverland’s history.
Kensington Darling was born and raised on the streets of London, living in poverty for most of his formative years. At the age of 5, Kensington got a job as a newspaper boy, where he worked all throughout college to be able to pay his tuition. After studying literature and business at university, a 25-year-old Kensington Darling set sail for America, the land of opportunity, where he hoped to fulfill his dream of owning his own newspaper. Kensington landed in Boston, and he quickly discovered that jobs were in short supply. He traveled up and down the Eastern seaboard pedaling his own brand of journalism, one that focused on the people and their stories rather than just the cold hard facts. But when Kensington was faced with rejection after rejection, he was forced to buckle under and take a job as a laborer for a group of settlers heading west from Washington D.C. And as many of you no doubt have already guessed, this band of intrepid pioneers were the same settlers that our beloved J.M. Barrie saved from a pack of black bears in 1860, the folks who would soon become our town founders.
While the Kensington Chronicle has been an institution in Neverland for almost the entirety of the town’s existence, Kensington Darling is perhaps best remembered by the world at large not as the founder of our hometown newspaper, but as the human race’s first ambassador to the fairy people. After stumbling onto a Gentle Place he later dubbed the Garden of Light, Kensington became the first man of record to discover the existence of fairies. And in so doing, he put our fledgling town on the map, and reminded people the world over that the Earth truly is a magical place. Selling this scoop of a lifetime netted Kensington enough money to bankroll the local newspaper that he had long been dreaming of, and the Kensington Chronicle has been owned and operated by a Darling ever since. Kensington built this paper from the ground up, and made it his mission to tell stories of the people and for the people of Neverland until the day he died.
We at the Kensington Chronicle believe that stories are the lifeblood of our community. And the story of Neverland is comprised of you, me, our neighbors, all the amazing and quirky residents of our beloved town. Neverland may be small compared to a bustling metropolis like Columbus or Cincinnati, but it’s big enough that citizens can rest assured that there’s always going to be a few nooks and crannies that you’ve yet to discover. And one of the goals of bringing the Chronicle into the digital age is to help each and every one of our residents feel more connected to our community. So for today’s editorial, I thought I’d take a minute to give a little primer on all of the ways you proud denizens of Neverland can use KenstingtonChronicle.com to connect with your neighbors.
Despite our small-town mentality, Neverland has embraced social media in a big way, and I, for one, couldn’t be happier! For me, it’s managed to make our small town even smaller. The people have spoken, and it seems Neverland’s social platform of choice is Twitter. So if you’re looking for a fun way to interact with some of your Neverland neighbors, and you don’t already have a Twitter account, you may want to set one up post haste!
If you haven’t already done so, click on over to our Town Ledger. Many of our residents have already added their names and Twitter handles, and we encourage you to do the same!
And if you’re hunting for a roommate, a job, or just trying to rekindle a missed connection, look no further than KensingtonChronicle.com’s Classifieds section.
What’s more, this week we’re launching an exciting new section to our site, a Twitter archive where we’ll be collecting select Twitter exchanges from our myriad of townsfolk. Our hope is that this will help our readers keep a finger on the pulse of Neverland, and enable like-minded Neverlandians to find one another. Keep your eyes out for that in just a few days.
And remember, your efforts to connect with the community needn’t be confined to our website alone! Many or our residents have personal Tumblr accounts, and my brother Michael, operator of the Kensington Chronicle Tumblr, will be doing his darnedest to follow all of you local Tumblrs. Some of you have even set up YouTube accounts and begun vlogging your experiences here in Neverland, not unlike like Kensington Chronicle’s own Wendy Darling, advice columnist extraordinaire. And from me and everyone else at the paper, we say keep it up! These videos, blogs, and social accounts really help us put faces to names, and help make Neverland one of the most tight-knit communities in all of Ohio.
As I’m fond of saying, stories are the heart of Neverland. So tell us your stories, Neverlandians. We can’t wait to hear what you’ve got to say.
Ladies and gentlemen, I am ever so proud to welcome you to this, the digital arm of our beloved newspaper, the Kensington Chronicle. And let me start by assuaging the fears that more than a few of you have voiced around town: by no means do we intend for this website to replace the print edition of the Chronicle. Our daily paper is steeped in tradition, and it’s a tradition we fully intend to uphold. Our printing press has been churning out papers for more than 150 years, and we have no intention of stopping it now!
Furthermore, our mission statement, to provide the people of Neverland with authentically local news, has not changed, either. While we’ll still cover national and international news that is relevant to our micropolitan community, our goal every day remains, first and foremost, to answer the question, “What’s going on in our community right now?” Much has been written about the failure of AOL’s local journalism experiment, Patch, but we firmly believe that it does not presage the demise of hyperlocal, hometown newspapers like the Kensington Chronicle. AOL was trying to be a national brand in a local market, and hyperlocal journalism just doesn’t scale that way. We see an opportunity to develop a digital platform that continues our dedication to enterprise journalism, content that unveils, informs and educates the community. I’m fond of saying that the Kensington Chronicle is a paper that’s of the people and for the people. We believe local news reporting is a responsibility and a privilege, and strive to serve Neverland with credibility, integrity and accountability.
In a landscape where legacy news media is being threatened by Internet news aggregators, low margins on Internet ads and our still less-than-stellar national economy, we at the Chronicle believe that we can develop a sustainable online model without having to hide our content behind a paywall, which will supplement our print edition rather than rendering it obsolete. That said, studies show that nearly half of adult Americans get some local news and information on their cell phones or tablet computers, and the information that they’re seeking out is practical and real time. We’re going to tailor our internet content to those needs, and continue to publish the quality, in-depth print edition that most of you enjoy over breakfast each morning.
So thank you for your continued support as we drag the Kensington Chronicle kicking and screaming into the digital age. It’s going to be quite the adventure.
