Pity Party Canceled

Dear readers, I’ve read over the editorials I published in the past couple of months, and I’d like to take a moment to apologize for how myopically angsty they are! I guess when you look at your life and you find enough areas wanting, it’s easy to get lost in a veritable quagmire of self pity. What’s more, after a while that kind of bleak outlook can become something of a self-fulfilling prophecy. This irrational fear of failure, this unflinching belief that the bad parts of your history will inevitably repeat themselves, can relegate you to a life of stagnating inaction. And I don’t think I realized just how introverted and work-obsessed all of this had made me. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am a workaholic at heart; I always prefer being busy to the alternative, and you know what they say about idle hands. But I think that many of you, my stalwart friends, have recognized in me something that I’m only now starting to grasp; In recent months, I’ve withdrawn even deeper into my work to distract myself from all of life’s other problems. My work life is something I can unequivocally control. There’s a certain safety in that. But it’s entirely too easy to focus on work to the expense of… life! And I’m hoping, with your help, I’ll be able to see that from now on.

I’m realizing finally that, more often than not, it’s best to confront problems head-on. Case in point, I let Wendy’s lack of correspondence fester in my mind, creating a nightmarish (and entirely fictional) scenario in which she was moving on without me. For the longest time, I avoided confronting her about it because at some level I believed that doing so would confirm my greatest fears. But after finally hashing things out with her, I understand that her lack of contact had almost nothing to do with me, and that, in the final analysis, a life without her siblings in it is as terrifying a prospect for her as it is for me.

What’s more, I know that you loyal readers have had a front-row seat for the saga of John Darling’s romantic journey, or lack-thereof. Well, on that front, I’m happy to report that maybe, just maybe, the axiom of “you’ll find someone when you least expect it” may finally be bearing fruit. It’s really too early for me to tell, but suffice to say I may be coming to all of you for advice in this area in the not-too-distant future. I know someone’s love life may seem like a particularly unusual thing to crowd-source, but, honestly, I feel like I’ll need all the help I can get. And I do so very much value and trust all of your opinions.

So thank you, all of you, for the constant support and words of encouragement. If ever again you see me teetering on the precipice of unchecked self pity, please don’t hesitate to let me know. Sometimes a dark outlook change comes on so gradually it’s difficult to acknowledge just how unclearly you’re thinking, you’re too close to your own life to see it. And I want all of you to know that I want this to be a two-way street. I’m not the only person in Neverland to become mired in a bog of uncertainty and self doubt, it happens to all of us from time to time. In those moments, when you have questions, concerns, or just simply need a friend, you know where to find me, and I hope you won’t hesitate to reach out. We’re stronger together than we are apart, and I expect I’ll be seeing more of you as I begin to crawl out of my self-imposed exile.

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Posted in Editorials
Posted on August 6, 2015
2 comments on “Pity Party Canceled
  1. It’s easy to get lost in yourself and paralyzed with fear. I lived my life that way for a long time and still let fear stop me from pushing myself. It’s heartwarming to read you’re working through it, and that love may be on yur horizon. Just remember sometimes life is messy, and that’s not something to be afraid of.

  2. Gabi rodriguez says:

    Best of luck!

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