Dear Darling,
Hey Michael it’s Michael! How are you? Never mind I know exactly how you’re doing – you’re freaking out! Everything is changing and I don’t know what to do! Today I saw John wearing a wrinkled shirt. A WRINKLED SHIRT!!! If that is not a clear sign that these are the end times than I don’t know what is! So I guess my question to me is…How do you stay calm when you have no friggin’ idea what will happen next, and down is up, and right is wrong, and good is bad, and you’re completely OUT OF CHEESY POOFS!?!?!?!!1
Sincerely Michael Darling.
Well, Michael I can tell by your punctuation that you are A) very handsome B) very cool and C) super stressed out. And my advice to you is…I DON’T KNOW! And what do I do when I’m lost? Watch cartoons!!! So please enjoy this advice:
Dear Michael,
Go to Amazon and order a 48-pack of Cheesy Poofs, same-day delivery. (B/c it’s the frakking end times and no one has time for Free Two Day Shipping.) Good.
If you feel extra-strong, add a search: “clothing steamer” for John – don’t worry, he’ll know what it is. If he doesn’t, skip worrying and take him to the Neverland ER.
Baby steps, dude. Don’t forget to breathe.
I agree, cartoons are very helpful. But make sure it’s the right kind of cartoons, and not ones that involve children screaming (like your above examples) because that’s not helpful at all. Also I think the stores near you should sell cheesy poofs or better yet you could make some! Cooking can also been very relaxing when you are stressed. For John’s shirt, send him and his shirt(s) to a steam room, he’ll be relaxed and his shirts will be wrinkle free!