Neverspeak Weekly 3/21/17

Spring Fling Double Edition!

Suprise! At the behest of one Wendy Darling, Neverlandians gathered in the Pan Cave last Friday to celebrate the birthday of one Peter Pan. Green was the color of the day, not only because of it coincided with St. Patty’s day, not only because it’s the birthday boy’s favorite color, but because the impromptu host got a little green around the gills. Somehow strawberries ended up in the bright green birthday cake which would never be a bad thing except for a pesky little life-threatening allergy. Luckily with some quick thinking (and an epi-pen), Peter was able to keep celebrating to the sounds of Fish Girl Pond and turn his attention to the dessert pizza provided by Pizza Hollow. A slight addendum: my sources admitted their recollection of events might be a little fuzzy given the copious amounts of Pan Punch imbibed during the night.

A Fairy Special Night. For anyone who could see past the tears in their eyes on Tuesday, the reunion of Freddie Wentworth with his wife Jo and daughter Lilly-Jane was a sight to behold. After spending the last few weeks abroad reporting on the refugee crisis in Mosul, Freddie is safely back with his family. Maybe with the aide of LJ’s new mousy tutor Professor Benjy (I’m not being mean – he’s a mouse), Mom and Dad can find some moments for a real reunion. While one group of fairies had a reunion, another had a revelation. If you caught sight of a hovering Aria Griffiths on Tuesday night, you may have assumed she’d had a run in with Tink. Actually, Aria is a fairy in her own right. Amber Poppins and Amy Jolie revealed that they had hidden her in the human world after the tragic deaths of her parents. But, the magic officially wore off on her 19th birthday. Oh to be young and magical…

Like daffodils…love is popping up everywhere! As always, our Neverland dances are the best place to spot the newest couples. Anna Berry and Gemma Willoe swayed under the twinkle lights looking as cute as they do whenever they’re seen around town. It was Charlie Hunter’s arms around her that caused Aria to sprout wings and fly off the ground. Recovered birthday boy Peter Pan showed up to the dance with a new lady on his arm. Whatever Jane Mannering was whispering to him on the dance floor seemed as sweet as the candies she sells. Sometimes, a partner will bow out but Lola Williams had quite a shock when Newt Scamander apparated right out of her arms. But, sources say, she ended up with a very handsome bottle of wine. Alls well that ends well!

Peace of Cake. There may have been some drama this week, but Bri Valdivia’s bridal shower was not part of it. The event was a lovely celebration of a Neverland couple we all know and love. The bride’s bestie Mia Traynor acted as a master of ceremonies while the guests including Teresa Delacruz, Amber Poppins, and myself sipped champagne and ate way too much cake. Watching how happy everyone was, I will admit I felt a little bit of remorse. It is my job as a gossip columnist to report what people are gossiping on. A few weeks ago, I did that and up until now I have felt justified in doing so. But, I never want a silly piece of gossip to come between two people who really love each other. So, Mr. Parsons and Ms. Carpenter, I apologize for any adverse effect my March 7th column may have had on your relationship. May love always conquer all!

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Jump to Ask Wendy for the second part of the Neverspeak Spring Fling Double Edition!

 

Posted in Neverspeak
Posted on March 23, 2017

All is Fair in Love and Fashion

Hey all!  Morgan Skylights, here.  This year, I was so overwhelmed with the beauty of the Spring Fling that I didn’t think I could do it justice alone, so I’ve invited K-Chron favorite, Wendy Darling, to come dish on the fashion, food, and flowers that made the Garden of Light THE place to be this past Tuesday.

Morgan: Hi Wendy!
Wendy: Hey Morgan. This is so fun!
Morgan: What? My cubicle?
Wendy: No! (laughs) Getting to work with you.
Morgan: Awww.
Wendy: And getting to look back at such a wonderful night!
Morgan: Too true. You were there from the start, right?
Wendy: Absolutely! I’ve always been too punctual.
Morgan: And I’m always fashionably late.
Wendy: Well, it’s good you had me on the ground.
Morgan: Why do you think I asked you to do this?
Wendy: Ha! Crafty, crafty.
Morgan: Always. So what should we start with?
Wendy: Ummm…food. Always food.

Wendy: Amy Jolie of the Jolly Roger Soda Ship wowed everyone with a gorgeous (and delicious) array of crostini. Did you try the one’s with grilled figs, goat cheese, and honey?
Morgan: Goat cheese and I don’t mix. But the smoked salmon and I got to know each other very well.
Wendy: What about the one with all the peas?!
Morgan: It was pretty cute. And yummy.
Wendy: I had to stop myself eventually because I had to leave room for the petite princess cakes provided by Katie. They. Were. Divine.
Morgan: I may have had five.
Wendy: Don’t tell me that.
Morgan: Why?
Wendy: Now I’m jealous… (makes a sad face)
Morgan: Okay, moving on…decorations?
Wendy: Well! The Garden of Light is already such a stunning location. But somehow the committee managed to make it even more magical.

Morgan: Yeah, I think the theme was flowers.
Wendy: Really? You picked up on that? (smiles wistfully) But, really, it was an incredibly romantic setting. If only Jas could have been there…
Morgan: Well, as his employee, I can say one thing. He works harder than anyone that works for him. That’s a good quality in to have in a boss…maybe not so good in a boyfriend?
Wendy: Jas wouldn’t be the person he is if he didn’t work hard. I love that about him. But, yeah, I wish we could have shared a dance or two.
Morgan: I’m sure he was wishing the same. But I did see you out there on the dance floor!
Wendy: Well, of course. I’d never waste a perfectly good opportunity to shake it!
Morgan: Bet all that wine helped.
Wendy: Oh, it never hurts! So, hair?
Morgan:…today, gone tomorrow?
Wendy: Very funny. There were so many stylish coiffeurs the other night. I just went around taking pictures of the backs of people’s heads. I have to try all of them.
Morgan: (looks askance) Uh…with what hair?
Wendy: Lady, that’s why God created extensions!
Morgan: Touche.


Wendy: But the crowning achievements were the dresses. So unbelievable!
Morgan: They were more flowery than the garden.
Wendy: And sooooo elegant. The ladies of Neverland really know how to dress up.
Morgan: It really was a feast for the eyes. Any favorites?
Wendy: How could I pick a favorite? Everyone’s look was so tailored to their personality and tastes.
Morgan: Aw, you’re too nice. I liked—
Wendy: Aren’t you trying to be nice too?
Morgan: (chagrined) Yeah. Thanks for catching that, advice lady.
Wendy: No problem, gossip gal.
Morgan: But, honestly, I loved the look of the embroidered flowers weaving over chiffon or netting.
Wendy: Me too! There’s something so enchanting about it. The flowers look real.


Morgan: But the more whimsical takes were fun too. I liked Jane’s chucks.
Wendy: Ha, ha. And Peter’s matching ones!
Morgan: Yeah, they seem like a pair. (elbow jab) Get it?
Wendy: Yeah…I get it. And I’m happy for him. Them. You know.
Morgan: Sure.


Wendy: Actually, I do have a favorite dress of the night.
Morgan: Oh, really?
Wendy: Hands down, Lilly-Jane.


Morgan: No fair! She’s a baby. No one can be as cute as her.
Wendy: Toddler, and, all is fair in love and fashion.
Morgan: And on that note, I think we’ll wrap this up. Thanks for giving me your two cents.
Wendy: Of course, you can always ask me anything. Get it?

We got it! Thanks, Wendy! So glad you let me kidnap you and your column so we could bring a fresh perspective to this fantastic event.  Happy Spring, Neverland!

Posted in Ask Wendy
Posted on March 23, 2017

8 PIZZA TOPPINGS THAT WILL BLOW YOUR MIND!

This week I’ve been tasked with writing a listicle that’s at least (relatively) wholesome, if still not in the strictest sense actually news.

8. Butternut Squash and Sage

With garlic oil, homemade ricotta, roasted butternut squash, fresh thyme and crispy sage.

7. Rhubarb Basil 

With Apple Honey BBQ Sauce.

6. Shrimp Scampi

As good as a pizza as it is a pasta.

5. Deep Dish Reuben 

Topped with corned beef, swiss cheese, sauerkraut.

4. Baked Mac ‘n’ Cheese

Dangerously delicious.

3. Hummus and Grilled Zucchini

I think this one speaks for itself.

2. M&M’s

I’ll bet you can guess which Neverlandian submitted this one.

1. Fairy Dust

This one is a Neverland original!

And speaking of pizza, remember that there’s no better place in Neverland to get it than our local Shakey’s!

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Posted in Editorials
Posted on March 20, 2017

Gather No Moss

Hello, Wendy birds!

I was so inspired by our Ask Wendy Live session that I wanted to revisit some of the questions I touched on then, mixed with some new ones that have come in. Often times, I wish I could answer every single one of your questions, but I only have so much column space. This week, I thought I would try grouping a few questions together that were linked by a similar theme. Maybe hearing other people’s stories can help shed light on your own!

The theme of this combined column is feeling lost. I’ve received quite a few questions touching on this issue. Elvanlady wondered how she could stay in the town she loved when she couldn’t find work there. Both Vicky Angel and Shelby Loren wondered how they could get unstuck. Carol and Lost Girl Looking wanted to feel more connected to their lives. To me, all of theses questions have the same common core: how do I find my place in the universe?

Oh, Wendy Birds, my heart goes out to you. As human beings (and fairies too), we all have a desire to be known – this means finding the place and the community that fits us best. When we don’t know how to find this (or how to stay there once we have found it), we feel unavoidably lost. This can manifest in feelings of stress, loneliness, and depression.

I know these were some of the things I felt when I was 27 and wondering if I would ever leave Neverland. It wasn’t that I didn’t love my hometown (I wouldn’t be back here if I didn’t!). It was that I couldn’t grow into who I needed to be by staying here. I had taken advantage of every opportunity and mentor I could in Neverland – and it was time to follow my heart and make a change.

It sounds like everyone who wrote in this week is feeling that call – you’ve found yourself in a mindset or situation that has caused your soul to stop growing. You feel the urge to change that, but you don’t know how. You want your inertia to become momentum so that you can become the best you that you can be. Seems to me you have starting point, a path, and a destination.

If a traveler has a destination are they really lost? They just have to do what every explorer has done before them: chart the path from point A to point B.

I knew I wanted more than my little town could offer (and Elvanlady, I think you know that too). I was feeling stuck, so I needed to give myself the opportunity to change. My first step wasn’t quitting my job or packing a bag (those things came much later) – it was exploring what other possibilities there might be. Lost Girl Looking, maybe you could start reading about other programs, consider taking a class or two in another field. Shelby, maybe you could vow to try something new – rock climbing, sushi rolling, learning to knit – every week. The surest way to stall your progress is to scare yourself by not starting small. Just take that first exploratory step.

Because here’s the thing about momentum, it grows and grows. Once you see that you can do that one thing (and not die!), you will feel confident, Carol, to try something else, maybe two other things. Eventually I went from looking at new jobs to applying to them. I also started telling people about my dreams. And once you start taking more and more actions, you’ll see more and more change. It will be exciting and invigorating and, sure, just a tiny bit scary. But I bet you won’t want to stop.

The funny thing about finding yourself, Wendy Birds, is that you have to do it on the move. The more you try, the more you fail, the closer you’ll get to finding out who you are and what you want. The more I allowed myself to explore and stretch my boundaries, the more at home I felt in my own skin and the less I needed to identify with one place or person. One day, I would like to truly be able to say I feel at home wherever I am. That’s a destination, and I’m still on that journey.

There’s a reason Ralph Waldo Emerson said life is a journey not a destination. I don’t know if I’ll ever make it to that level of confidence, but I’m going to enjoy trying. And the only way to enjoy it is to actually do it. So, Vicky, start trying one thing after another and eventually you will find yourself on a path you’re excited to be walking.

But remember the first part of my advice: follow your heart and make a change. The further afield you go from your heart’s desires, the less you’ll enjoy the path. Kind of like a cross country skier choosing the beach just because everyone else is doing it. She may get a terrific tan, but she’ll be forever longing for those snow-capped mountains.

Always yours,

Wendy

Posted in Ask Wendy
Posted on March 16, 2017

Neverspeak Weekly 3/14/17

Some Enchanted Vending… If you haven’t been to Neverland Books recently, it may be worth a visit. Owner Bri Valdivia recently installed a book dispenser that seems to be a bit magical. Word on the street is that it works like a regular vending machine (which by the way, I love the idea of a vending machine for books!), but the books it gives customers are oddly specific. Customer Gemma Willoe received a book about being happily single, while a certain gossip columnist who shall remain nameless got Harriet the Spy. No one knows exactly how this is happening, but there is some belief that fairy magic might be behind it. Given the recent influx of fairies into Neverland, that seems like a pretty good guess! After you’ve finished your spring cleaning, you might as well fill up your book shelf with titles that are tailored to you!

Spring Forward. You all may have cursed the daylight savings gods when you lost an hour of sleep on Sunday, but you know what that extra hour of sun means! It’s time for the annual Spring Fling. This coming Tuesday at 8PM rather than waiting for my column with baited breath, Neverlandians will be donning their finest frocks and dancing the night away. The ball will be the culmination of the Spring Festival in which Neverlandians celebrate the Vernal Equinox with two days of events including the Firefly Festival at the Skeleton Tree and High Tea Mixer held in the Garden of Light. The times of all events can be found on the community calendar. Looking forward to seeing the ensembles as colorful as all these spring flowers!

Bachelor No More. One of Neverland’s favorite couples is making it official! Bri Valdivia and Sheriff Harrison “Tacos” Lestrade are getting married. The couple was engaged during Thanksgiving last year and their April 29th wedding is quickly approaching. But, before the wedding can take place there, of course, has to be a bachelor party. I believe it is my responsibility to make this public service announcement. Stay off the streets on the night of April 14 because the men of Neverland will be having a wild night on the town. But, be warned, boys, the women of Neverland will not be shown up. Bri’s wedding shower will be held this Thursday at 6PM!

Local Initiatives. According to some folks, this column was a little hard on Lola Williams last week. To make up for it, I’d like to plug her new business, Sunny & Lola’s. Lola and her horse Sunday (Sunny for short) are in the business of teaching horseback riding (not boyfriend stealing!).  Teresa Delacruz, known mostly for her talent with the supernatural, has turned her attention to a more literary project. Follow her hashtag #NeverlandReads to hear her thoughts as she reads Jane Austen’s Emma for the first time. Or join her and use the hashtag yourself! I, for one, have read Emma at least a dozen times. I’m not sure why I relate to the character of a meddlesome busybody who gets into everyone’s business so much, but I do!

Too Many Secrets! Buddha once said, three things cannot long stay hidden: the sun, the moon and the truth. We must not have many buddhists in Neverland because it seems like everyone has a secret these days! And for a GOSSIP COLUMNIST this is very frustrating. So, now I’m going to frustrate you readers, and the chain of deception will continue to be forged link by link. Wendy Darling may be gathering forces for a secret project (apparently involving pizza), Amy Jolie may be revealing a well-kept secret at the upcoming Spring Fling, and Nanny Ams may have had a secret rendezvous with a charming chimney sweep in the Garden of Light last week.  Who knows?

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Posted in Neverspeak
Posted on March 14, 2017

Your Pot of Gold

Hey Wendy!

How do you deal with time management and motivation? I always plan my days out based on what I have to get done, but I never accomplish anything because I get distracted or bored! Thanks!

Sincerely,

Halli P.

Dear Halli,

This is an interesting question. When someone has to get something done, I would usually tell them to make a plan, mapping out how to get from point A to point B step by step. But, you, my dear, have the plan but are having a hard time sticking to it.

You say you either get bored or distracted. I wonder, Halli, do you feel connected to what you are doing? Sometimes we have to have the why before the how. Even though my work load seems overwhelming at times, I always endeavor to plow through it because it is the work that I love. Helping people in creative ways is my calling and I get to do it every day through writing this column, making a vlog, and working on my next book.

Now I realize that not everyone gets to spend their days doing exactly what they love. But, I also believe that we all deserve to be working towards that. So what is your pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? What dream are you chasing? Do you want to be your own boss, do you want to travel the world, do you want to buy a house and make it your own?

I want you to really spend some time thinking about this and when you have an answer (or a few!), I want you to post reminders of that goal all around your work space. If you are more of a left-brained person, that may just be notes that say “Trip to Spain!” or “Opening my own yoga studio.” If you are more right brained, you might want to make a vision board or pick out an inspiring song to listen to any time you need a boost. The point is, if you keep reminding yourself of the ‘why’, the how will be easier to navigate.

Once you have your dream or, in other words, your motivation in mind, try some of these tricks for how to stay focused and avoid distractions. You say that you plan out your days already. That’s great! Now take that list of tasks and prioritize them. You can do this by urgency, but I suggest doing it by complexity of the task. The reason for this is that our first hour of working is when our brain is firing at all cylinders.  The longer we’re at it, the more tired our noggin gets.  So, use that magic time to get the most creative task accomplished.

Here’s an example. Let’s say this afternoon I have to shoot out some emails, clean my desk, and write an article. Well, often I am tempted to start with the mindless task first (most likely cleaning my desk) and build up to that hard one! But, unless one of the emails is URGENT, I should really start with the article while my brain is the least tired.

Recognize that even when you get your goals in order and you have your motivation, there will be times (probably a lot more than you’d like) when you just won’t feel like working. This is called resistance and it’s natural and annoying. You just have to recognize it for what it is and push through it. The difference between a professional athlete and an amateur is the former’s ability to work and practice even when they don’t feel like it.  Setting timers for yourself and putting your phone on airplane mode can help keep you on track.

Most people overestimate what they can do in a day and underestimate what they can do in a year. Recognize that you are only human and only have so much energy, focus, and stamina. Be realistic about what you can feasibly accomplish in a day and spread your bigger projects out over weeks or months. If you whittle your todo list down to 3 items for the day rather then the never-ending list that just rolls over and over, you’ll have a much better chance at feeling a sense of peace and accomplishment rather than stress at the end of the day. Then you can rest, rejuvenate and be ready for your 3 items tomorrow.

All in all, be kind to yourself, Halli. Remember that you are more than your todo list, more than the sum of your achievements. You are a very human person who is probably delightful in lots of human ways just trying to figure it all out. The more you can be your own cheerleader rather than your own bully, the closer you’ll get to becoming the woman you want to be.

Always yours,

Wendy

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Posted in Ask Wendy
Posted on March 9, 2017

Neverspeak Weekly 3/7/17

Baby, Baby. In addition to new residents, Neverland will be welcoming even newer faces by the end of this year. If you haven’t already heard, Sarah-Jane Mason and her husband Alfie are expecting twins. The word on the street is that Jas Hook himself signed off on their future monikers, Ava and Aidan. Make those connections early! This crafty columnist also got an exclusive with Mia Traynor who just announced that she and her hubby Eli are expecting as well. Both future mother and father are looking forward about their impending parenthood. Mia admits to some trepidation, but assures us that Eli is ready to go. “He is excited to teach his progeny his cowboy ways,” a glowing Mia giggled. Congrats on the great news, cute couples! Better you than me.

Whatever Lola Wants… While some couples are coming closer together, others may be falling apart. Multiple sources have reported seeing Wesley Parsons horseback-riding with blonde beauty Lola Williams at her new riding school, Sunny & Lola’s. According to one concerned observer, “Lola, as she calls herself, offers riding lessons, but she’s very hands-on.” Apparently, Mr. Parsons has been less than honest with his girlfriend Juliet Carpenter about these meetings. A word of caution to both parties, in a town as small as Neverland, you can never keep a secret for long.

Light ‘Em Up. Michael Darling led a tour of the Garden of Light for interested Neverlandians this week. While tours are usually populated by, well, tour-ists, it was great to see the locals really appreciating one of our proudest treasures. Teresa Delacruz loved being in the Garden so much that she made it the location of her Halloween wedding to Neal. The Gardens are always exquisite, but recent developments have made them even more spectacular. Droves of fairies have been showing up in Neverland and taking up residence in the park. This is unusual at this time of year given that it is not December and we aren’t all singing showtunes. (Ask Sarah Lightly more about Fairy Songification if you are new to Neverand…)

Making Magic. The Neverland fire department has had their fair share of cats in trees, but they probably haven’t had a call quite like this one. According to her mother, Lilly-Jane Wentworth accidentally turned her favorite teddy bear into a real live feline. Though she’s only just turned two, the littlest member of our favorite fairy family can already fly and is “startlingly good at anything magic she tries.” Jo isn’t quite sure if the bear will remain a cat or not. With husband Freddie Wentworth in Europe helping fairy refugees and her own commitment to med school, Jo has certainly got her hands full. If the magic can’t be reversed, this bear-turned-cat may be in need of a new home!

Window to the Soul. If you haven’t already joined, there is a new dating app in town. JHMedia and the K-Chron have teamed up to release Open Window. For now, the website will be locals only, but knowing JHMedia, it will soon be worldwide. While competitor Tinder sends your swipes into oblivion, Open Window actually keeps track of how many Neverlandians have opened your window (and how many haven’t.) “It’s the worst kind of popularity contest,” said one disgruntled single. But others don’t seem to be bothered by the game. A grinning Jane Mannering admitted that she’s kind of obsessed with the app. “It’s almost as addicting as these chocolate covered gummy bears!” Just make sure to note what your looking for, so you don’t end up on a date that’s not a date, or a hangout that is!

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“Dear @Lin_Manuel, do not throw away your shot! Please come to Neverland. Your obedient servant.”

 

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Posted in Neverspeak
Posted on March 7, 2017

Clearing the Derrière

Neverlandians, today I’ve been tasked with answering the question that apparently everyone but me has been asking re: pop-star Derrière Diva: “Booty real or booty fake?” In case, like some of us, you have better things to do with your time, allow me to bring you up to speed. Ms. Diva’s appearance at this year’s Siren Awards has kicked off the latest in a disturbing trend of bootygate scandals. The ratio of Ms. Diva’s behind to her waistline does seem to defy what we would think of as standard body proportions, but just because it is unusual does not mean it isn’t naturally possible. There are a lot of facets to this question, and I shall endeavor to address the issue respectfully while keeping my journalistic integrity intact.

The practice of using the suffix “-gate” to denote a scandal, of course, originated in the early ‘70s when the Nixon White House was implicated in a burglary of the Democratic National Committee’s headquarters which happened to be located inside the Watergate Complex in Washington D.C. I’d hazard to say that the authenticity of Derrière Diva’s booty is of significantly less national import than the dirty-dealings of a one-time-president of the United States, but you wouldn’t know it from the way this so-called scandal is trending on Twitter.

So what do we actually know? Surgical procedures to enhance one’s posterior have existed for more than 30 years, two of the most common being fat injections and silicon implants. Now, as it turns out, there is a fairly definitive way in which to identify the presence of booty enhancements. Both of these methods of posterior augmentation would show up on X-ray or CT scans, tiny calcium specs called “microcals” for the former and the implants themselves for the latter. Not surprisingly, however, there do not appear to be any publicly available scans of Derrière Diva’s backside to settle this debate once and for all. And even if there were, journalistic integrity would demand that rigorous pains be taken to ensure that said scan were, in fact, performed by board-certified Radiologists.

Absent this definitive medical evidence, the question of “Is Derrière Diva’s booty real or fake?” seems to be largely a matter of opinion. Still, it has been made clear to me that I am expected to draw a conclusion, sparse though the actual facts may be. So to that end I say, we must presume that it is real until such time as it can be proven otherwise. This is America, after all.

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Posted in Editorials
Posted on March 6, 2017

Welcome to OpenWindow – Hooked on Love

Are you looking for love or friendship in Neverland?

Well JHMedia and the K-Chron have your back!  OpenWindow is here, a place online where you can connect with other Neverlandians.  Rate whether you want to open your window to them or close it!  Those with Twitter accounts shared allow you to connect with them.

You can join up or just rate!

Click here to begin.

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Posted in Editorials, Tech Updates
Posted on March 3, 2017

A Lively Night

Hey Wendybirds!

I am so excited to bring Ask Wendy back to the new K-Chron!  Sooooo excited that I spent an hour last night giving advice live from my office at the new JH Media building visible from…well, everywhere in Neverland.  The last year has been a whirlwind and it was so magical to return to the place where it all began.  Me, you and a web cam in good, old Neverland, Ohio.

Always yours,

Wendy

PS) Hope you enjoy the input from my trusty assistant as much as I did.  Remember, darlings, no matter how hard life gets, a good friend can always make it better.  (And a good laugh, too!)

 

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Posted in Ask Wendy
Posted on March 2, 2017

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  • 10:00 pmAsk Wendy Live!
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  • All DayOpenWindow Launch
  • 7:00 pmFree Dance Class: Ballet
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