Every Tuesday I write about all of the hot gossip that happens on the streets in Neverland, Ohio.

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Neverspeak Weekly, 8/4/15

Hearty Party. Everyone had a great time at the Jolly Roger Soda Ship 100 year Anniversary Party. Aimee and Katie served up an endless supply of delicious sweets and treats. Throughout the day patrons answered trivia about the shop’s history in between socializing and listening to a set by Fish Girl Pond. Neverlandians in attendance included Wesley Parsons, Juliet Carpenter, G. Harrison Lestrade, Bri Valdivia, Mia Rivers, Nanny Ams, Teresa Delacruz, and many more.

Whiplash Woman! A few days ago, Neverlandians were tearfully bidding goodbye to one of their own. Word on the street was that Mia Rivers would be moving to Denver to work as a paralegal. She was even spotted having an intense conversation at the Jolly Roger with one Eli Traynor. Perhaps seeing how much her would-be suitor cares made her change her mind because just as everyone had gotten used to the idea of her leaving, she changed her mind!

Bromances and Sisterhoods. While G. Harrison Lestrade and Wesley Parsons have moved into a bachelor pad of their very own, the ladies of Neverland could be heard far and wide having another Karaoke Party. Everyone was happy to celebrate Mia’s decision to stay in Neverland. Even new-mom Jo Wentworth made an appearance with her little baby Lilian.

Play Time! You’ve heard the whispers, and we at the Chronicle can assure you that it’s true. Peter Pan’s Performance Pieces (P4) will be having a live performance this very week. Peter Pan’s “Panlet” debuts at the Neverland Theatre this Thursday at 9pm EST, August 6th.  It may even feature some of you, valued readers (and future stars!)  Look below for more info…

CASTING NOTICE

Auditions will be held tomorrow, Wednesday 8/5.  If interested, please contact Peter Pan on Twitter (@PetersPanels) and indicate which character you want to try out for.  No sides at the audition, simply prepare a monologue of your choosing.  Scripts will be distributed after final casting decisions have been made.

CHARACTER BREAKDOWNS

Ghost of King Pancules – The former King of Nevermore, slain by his duplicitous brother, Jas Vader.  The spirit of Pancules appears to his son, Panlet, in hopes that he will be avenged.

Queen Gwendolyn – King Pancules’ widow.  Not complicit in her late husband’s murder.  In danger of succumbing to her brother-in-law, Jas Vader’s, romantic advances.

Jas Vader – Brother to King Pancules, perpetrator of murder most foul.  Usurper of the throne, and a contender for Queen Gwendolyn’s heart.

Trending

“Single Ladies” by Beyonce
Once Upon a Time
#facerealityRick
Disney’s Descendents
#icantevenseries
Harry Potter’s Birthday
Baseball

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Posted in Neverspeak
Posted on August 4, 2015

Neverspeak Weekly 7/28/15

Ten Delicious Decades! As mentioned last week, the Jolly Roger Soda Ship is celebrating its 100th anniversary tomorrow, July 29th. The crew will be hosting an all-day party at the shop with yummy treats and music from Fish Girl Pond. In addition, shop owner Aimée Jolie will be posting an extensive history of the shop, chronicling its decades-long presence in Neverland and it’s ever-evolving role as a gathering place throughout the tumultuous twentieth century in America.

Reality Bites. Since the return of Jas Hook and Wendy Darling to Neverland, some Neverlandians have been tuning into the JHMedia Livestream to learn more about the company (and feed their curiosity about the power couple). Last Thursday those same Neverlandians witnessed a shocking confrontation between Hook and Neverland’s favorite son Peter Pan. Peter came across as, for lack of a better word, a bully. It will be interesting to see how he handles his new notoriousness.  Is the play really the thing?

Get me to the Church… Sarah-Jane Lakewood set a date for her nuptials to fiance Alfie. Neverlandians, mark your calendars for August 15, 2016 in New Orleans, Louisiana. Should be a hot ticket! As in literally very hot. August in Louisiana hot. Lakewood says invitations will be going out soon. Don’t give her honeymoon advice if you want to make the list!

Changes of Heart (and Location). Teresa Delacruz has relocated to New York City with her boyfriend Neal. Though everyone will be sad to see less of her, we wish her the best with her new life. And if you’ve stopped by Neverland Books lately, you’ve probably noticed that Mia Rivers still has not returned to her post. You only have to look so far as her tumblr to find that she’s currently residing at a crossroads between Neverland and Denver.  Though not always an easy thing to do, try to follow your heart where it leads, Mia!

New Sheriff in Town. G. Harrison Lestrade has been offered the job of Neverland’s Deputy Sheriff pending a background check. But, since he comes directly from the FBI, that shouldn’t be a problem! While we’ve had to say goodbye to a couple of Neverlandians, we are excited to welcome him and accountant Wesley Parsons (who’s looking for a roommate!) to the community full time.

Local Blues. Neverlandians were dismayed to read last week’s editorial in which John Darling, assistant to the Editor in Chief, opened up about the Kensington Chronicle’s financial difficulties. As a recent hire, this gossip columnist found the the article especially distressing. However, it’s been encouraging to watch Neverlandians gather around the paper in support. Many citizens have pledged to pick up subscriptions and the Neverland Care Center guaranteed that copies of the Chronicle would always be available in its waiting room. Keep supporting local news!

Trending
@VidCon
Mermaid in Chelsea Creek
NASA’s New Earth
#TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter
McKellan and Stewart Recite Swift
Northbound Series
Lafayette Shooting
#SaveKensChronicles

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Posted in Neverspeak
Posted on July 28, 2015

Neverspeak Weekly 7/21/15

Love Rivangle. While most Neverlandians were utterly charmed by the return of local boy turned international success Jas Hook, one Neverlandian may not be. Peter Pan has been seen and heard around town making his feelings clear about the arrival of his, well, rival. It seems a bit childish to use such terms, but we all know our Peter has a youthful spirit. Word has it he may be channeling this spirit into a theatricalization of his feelings at the Neverland Theatre. Whichever team you’re on, this event should be too entertaining to pass up.

Holy Mole-y! The Fate Stalkers have been out in full form braving the summer heat for love. (Though maybe it isn’t so brave since they carry their shade around with them.) Most Neverlandians were happy to see them out and about, but some thought they were getting a little bushy – I mean, pushy. Word has it things got heated between the Stalkers and Bertie Screever after he threw a banana peel into a shrub-covered Stalker. However, things have a way of working out. Through this altercation, the Fate Stalkers met their newest member, the recently inducted Dole the Mole. As far as we know, this is the first animal Fate Stalker.

On the Move… Neverland Books has been minus one of its own this week. Sources say Mia Rivers made a hasty trip to her hometown of Denver, Colorado. No word on when she’ll return. In other news, Neverland may have a new sheriff in the coming weeks. Apparently, the prime candidate is as one deputy put it “very overqualified for the job.” Things have been pretty quiet in Neverland this summer, but it’s better to be safe than sorry!

Taco Time! Bri Vivladia, Agent Tacos and friends had a Taco Night this past Friday on Big Bear Rock. Sources say it was mostly couples sipping on sangria and taking in the beautiful summer night. Eli Traynor escorted Mia Rivers, Juliet Carpenter brought Wesley Parsons, Nanny Ams came with Bertie Screener (before he was scared away by some overly friendly Fate Stalkers.)

Drama Club. Neverland’s own celebrity Sarah-Jane Lakewood continues to bring Hollywood glamour and histrionics to this small town. Hearing about Peter Pan’s possible plans has sent the actress into what some people have called a full movie-star meltdown. It seems she’s as formidable an enemy as she is a friend. While she’s been declaring herself against Peter Pan, she has been pulling strings to get another friend of hers a job. And all her friends are looking forward to her upcoming wedding which will be held at the Champagne Place in New Orleans.

100 Bottles of… Jolly Roger Soda Ship’s 100th Anniversary is coming up at the end of the month. The Neverland institution announced the upcoming celebration this week. They will be hosting an all day extravaganza on July 29th from 10AM to 10PM featuring music by Fish Girl Pond. Can’t wait to see (and taste) what delicious concoctions they come up with to celebrate!

Trending
#Neverland4Life
Hamlet
@fatestalkermole
Clueless Tour of LA
Sherlock Holmes
#cardsagainstausten
Geekie Awards
Lovely Little Losers
#PoldarkPBS

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Posted in Neverspeak
Posted on July 21, 2015

Neverspeak Weekly 7/14/15

Work it.  Things have settled down considerably in Neverland since the week of the ball.  Maybe it’s the sweltering heat, or maybe it’s the depleted wallets, but Neverlandians across the board have been getting back to work.  Apparently, Juliet Carpenter is working out of Wesley Parson’s accounting office these days.  Happy those two are making a go of it!  And word on the street is that Agent Tacos is looking for a job.  Seems to me any business would be lucky to have a trained FBI officer!

Chocolate-Covered Catch-up.  Wendy Darling, Neverland’s erstwhile advice blogger, is officially back in town!  Early last week she caught up with some of her old Neverland pals at the Jolly Roger.  While everyone was excited to see Wendy and her fierce new haircut, the big attraction was her fierce new arm candy.  She brought along JH Media mogul and professional heartthrob Jas Hook.  He regaled the group with tales from the city and pretty much charmed the pants off of everyone.   I mean, sources say.

Nerdy-landians Abroad. Some lucky Neverlandians traveled across the country this weekend for Comic Con in San Diego, California.  Becca Rodriguez and Drunk Austen (such a unique first name…is it Dutch?) tweeted updates from the ground so that those of us stuck in Ohio could enjoy the action.  Some of the fan favorites this year were Outlander, Batman vs. Superman, Star Wars, Supernatural, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, and a little video blog about some people we know.

Painting the Town. Just as this gossip columnist was about to shuffle on home and drown her slow news week in a bottle of wine and some Netflix, she spotted something that made her journalist heart go all a’flutter.  In front of Neverland Books, one Mia Rivers and one Eli Trainer were engaged in a full out paint flirt – ahem – fight.  A little spying revealed that the dashing Texan was helping Ms. Rivers hang the new sign over the shop.   Mia’s dress may have lost the battle, but hopefully love is winning the war!

Trending
Shrubbery is the New Black
Project Dashwood
Sleep No More
The Night Circus
Ernest Hemmingway
#sharkbooks
Go Set A Watchman
Bastille Day

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Posted in Neverspeak
Posted on July 14, 2015

Neverspeak Weekly 7/7/15

Midsummer Ball Special Edition – Scroll down for the Ball’s Fashion Photo Spread!

A Lovely Night. Neverlandians gathered on Thursday night for the 2nd Annual Midsummer Ball. The night was a smashing success. Though some townsfolk worried that this sophomore outing wouldn’t measure up to last year’s festivities, they were soon mollified and amazed by this year’s ball-to-the-wall bash. With the help of Lily Bagha’s generosity and the Party Planning Committee’s dedication, Neverlandians enjoyed more music and more spectacle than ever before.  Check out the photospread below for the ball’s fierce fashion!

Party Plural. The main event of the week may have been the ball, but Neverlandians didn’t stop there. This week was jammed with social events. Before the ball, the Fatestalkers threw a singles mixer. The day after the party, a group of Neverland ladies was spotted (and overheard) at the new karaoke bar in town belting out such girl anthems as Taylor Swift’s “Shake it Off”, Shania Twain’s “That Don’t Impress Me Much”, and that old Spice Girls favorite “Wannabe.”  And of course, Neverlandians spent the weekend celebrating Independence Day with flag pies, fireworks and red, white, and blue everything!

Wenderful News! For those who haven’t heard, Neverland’s own Wendy Darling has returned home to Neverland to launch her book tour! This is great news for Neverland – in fact, rumor has it the Neverland Chamber of Commerce is creating a new tourism campaign to take advantage of all the visiting fans. Friends and fans alike can catch up with Wendy at an informal welcome home celebration later this week. Keep your ears open for the date and time!

Love Bugs. No bugs had to be planted by this gossip columnist to pick out the couples in the room on Thursday night. Everyone wants their Cinderella moment at a ball, and, happily, a large amount of Neverlandians got just that! Juliet and Wesley were seen sharing bites of ice cream, a charming cowboy made a last minute appearance to dance with a book shop belle, and Bri was seen dancing with Agent Tacos back early from his assignment. And in the most romantic moment of the night, Sarah-Jane Lakewood received a proposal from her boyfriend Alfie.

Sweet Treats.  The ball was also an opportunity for local entrepreneurs and artists to share their creations with the community. Fish Girl Pond wowed audiences with a set that included new and old favorites. Their new song “Island Dangers” offered a driving beat and a catchy chorus while the haunting “On the Inside” pulled at the heartstrings. Jolly Roger Soda Ship pulled out all the stops with an endless buffet, an ice cream bar, and the prettiest pastries and desserts imaginable. And I may have absconded with several of Rowan’s Skull Rock Sea Salt Cheesecake Truffles in my purse. Shhh.

Trending

Meg Cabot
Poldark
Heatwave
Harper Lee
#MuffiniseABook
Pride and Protocol
Outlander
#NeverlandBall

 

Midsummer Ball Fashion JPeg

 

 

Posted in Neverspeak
Posted on July 7, 2015

Neverspeak Weekly 6/30/15

Scandalous!?  Neverlandians’ reactions were mixed to the first publication of this column.  There was a lot of support but also some uncertainty.  Just know that we here at the Kensington Chronicle are trying to shake things up and add a new dimension to our beloved Neverland.  No one knows what that crazy, free-spirit of a gossip columnist Ms. Skylights will be up to next!

Rainbow Connection.  All across town, Neverlandians celebrated the Supreme Court’s decision to recognize marriage for gay Americans.  “Their hope,” Justice Anthony Kennedy wrote, “is not to be condemned to live in loneliness, excluded from one of civilization’s oldest institutions. They ask for equal dignity in the eyes of the law. The Constitution grants them that right.”

Making Music. You may have seen all the members of Fish Girl Pond at The Jolly Roger yesterday.  They, along with friends, were writing lyrics to some new songs.  Hoping we’ll get to hear some of their new tunes at the Midsummer Ball on Thursday.  Sources say they may be welcoming a guest member on stage with them that night, our very own Michael Darling.

Celebration Station!  We at the Kensington Chronicle wish Sarah-Jane Lakewood a happy birthday, and Freddie and Jo Wentworth a happy anniversary.  Sarah-Jane was spotted around town celebrating with her family, while sources say the Wentworths celebrated in private.  Definitely a fan of this couple and their cute little baby girl.  #Jeddie or #Frejo?

Destination Wedding.  We missed some Neverlandians this week as they traveled out of town for Eric J Wihite’s wedding to Kate the Bookworm.  Sources say the literary-themed wedding was both creative and touching.  The Blind Date with a Book was a huge hit.  An elated Kate quoted the heroine in another epic romance, Jane Eyre, saying, “Reader, I married him.”

Match Made in Neverland?  As we all know, Neverland is a magical place.  Some have likened it to Camelot, that once-in-a-generation place that embodies all the ideals of its citizens.  Broadway wrote, “In short, there’s simply not a more congenial spot for happily-ever-aftering than here in Camelot.”  Well, that goes for Neverland too.  Some of our citizens may be doubting that at the moment, but if they stick around they just may get that happily-ever-after.

 Fly Ball!  It’s almost here folks.  The Midsummer Ball will be this Thursday at the lagoon!  Sources say that Mia Rivers, Lily Bagha, and the rest of the Party Planning Committee of Neverland have spared no expense and no waking hour to make this thing amazing.  So bring your prettiest dresses, your hottest dates, and your best dance moves because next week’s Neverspeak will be a special Midsummer Ball edition featuring all the best moments of the night.

Trending

#LoveWins
Confederate Flag Down
Eatersizing
The Royal We
Cursed Child
#karic2015

 

 

Posted in Neverspeak
Posted on June 30, 2015

Neverspeak Weekly 6/23/15

Fatestalkers Unite! Neverland’s own guerilla matchmaking group, Fatestalkers, has a new job. Michael Darling, advice vlogger for the Kensington Chronicle, is the one asking for help this time. He likes a girl, codename Dahlia, who is currently dating his friend. Eek, that’s awkward! Hope the Fatestalkers can help him untangle that one!

Love is in the air? Recent Southern transplant Eli Traynor was spotted flirting with Mia Rivers at Neverland Books. Sources say he walked out with a copy of “Kissing in America” – I think some kissing in Neverland may be in their future. But sources say Eli tried to ask Mia to the Ball but was given a confused shoulder.  Maybe time for some Sadie Hawkins actions?

Local Success. Neverlandians were excited to learn about the upcoming release of an advice book by Neverland’s own Wendy Darling. They were eager to know where and when they could obtain their own copy of “Ask Wendy”. Hopefully we’ll know more soon! Until then, you can always check out her old column here at the Kensington Chronicle.

Paradise in Trouble. Wesley Parsons and Juliet Carpenter are official – Wules, anyone?  Wes was even spotted down on one knee.  But, is he going to have to leave Neverland because of nightmares and a confusing past?  Will he stay, will Juliet go with him, or will love fall prey to reality once again? Sources say they are going to the Midsummer Ball together.  Hope this is a fairytale moment for this new couple!

Heartbreak in Charleston.  Neverlandians were horrified by the recent murder of 9 members of a historic black church in Charleston. Pemberleigh, Constance Moriarty and others quoted members of the black community. Pemberleigh put it this way, “One thing I can do is listen to people of color. I know I’m just 1 small person but I listen. I care.” Our hearts go out to the families of the slain and victims of racism everywhere.

Midsummer Ball!  Neverlandians are coming together for an ocean-themed 2nd Annual Midsummer Ball on July 2nd. The Party Planning Committee of Neverland is in charge of making us dig this shin’ and has been given an unlimited budget by local entrepreneur and millionaire Lily Bagha. Mermaid Lagoon and Fish Girl Pond are both slated to perform. Jolly Roger Soda Ship and Skull Rock Candy Shop will also be on hand with as much ice cream and candy as Neverlandians can eat. Should be an amazing party!

Pan goes Neviral. You used to know Peter Pan as the comic book illustrator for the Kensington Chronicle, but now Neverlandians are recognizing a new set of talents in this hometown personality. His most recent episode of Peter Pan’s Performance Pieces (also called P4) has swept through town eliciting mostly positive reactions.

Getting the Ball Rolling.  Neverlandians are getting ready to dress up and pair up for the Ball next week. Bri Valdivia, Mia Rivers, and Juliet Carpenter were spotted shopping for dresses. Sources say they found some gorgeous ones! Later while Mia was out shopping again with Amber Poppins where she met her would-be suitor Eli.  It may be worth it to stop by the Ball just to see who ends up going with who!

Trending

New Fifty Shades Book
“Fight Song” by Rachel Platten
Reading
#TheNew10
Charleston Shooting
#BlackLivesMatter
Midsummer Ball

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Posted in Neverspeak
Posted on June 22, 2015

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A weekly round up of all Neverland, Ohio news and posts. Sent every Sunday

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  • 10:00 pmAsk Wendy Live!
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  • All DayOpenWindow Launch
  • 7:00 pmFree Dance Class: Ballet
  • 10:00 pmGarden of Light Tour w/ Michael Darling
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  • 6:00 pmBri’s Wedding Shower
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  • All DayNeverland Vernal Equinox Celebration
  • 6:25 amFirefly Festival
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  • 5:00 pmNeverland Spring Festival High Tea Mixer
  • 8:00 pmAnnual Spring Fling Ball
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