Neverspeak Weekly 3/28/17

Yes, please!  In a completely unsurprising turn of events, JH Media CEO Jas Hook proposed to Advice Doyenne Wendy Darling this past Friday.  The only thing that shocked this gossip columnist about the power couple making it official was the humble quality of the proposal.  At quitting time, while the rest of us were packing up our bags to go home, Jas Hook showed up at Wendy’s cubicle with a big rock and a heartfelt speech.  In the presence of her brothers, John and Michael, and his assistant John Smee, Mr. Hook officially put a ring on it.

March Madness. It seems like everyone has had or is currently having (at this very moment!) a birthday this month in Neverland. Neal’s party was last week, Anna celebrated a couple days ago, and now, in case you missed the memo, everyone is gathered at the Jolly Roger Soda Ship to celebrate Gemma’s big day.  Special someone Anna Berry put it together with the help of Mia Traynor.   Now that my column is out, I’ll be heading there myself.

Game of Thrones? It seems the mystery of the returning fairies seems to have been solved by Sarah Lightly, the former webmaster of the late Kensington Chronicle and current PhD candidate in Fairy Culture. Ms. Slightly moderated a debate this week between local fairy Tinker Bell and the visiting fairy ‘Queen’ Crimson Mab I (the first male ruler in fairy history). Some serious family drama has Tink and Crimson (half-siblings) duking it out for the fairy throne. Apparently, all the fairies you’ve been seeing around Neverland have returned to witness the fight. All hail Khaleesi!

Bake It Till You Make It. Teresa Dealcruz and her fiancé Neal Cassidy will be holding a bake sale this Friday March 31 to fund their honeymoon to the California beach town of Sanditon. Since Neverland has a surprising amount of Sanditon transplants, I’m sure people will want to come out and support the couple. I feel like a day doesn’t go by here in Neverland in which I don’t see some glorious baked good being paraded in front of my nose (and usually ending up in my tummy.) Here’s hoping Teresa taps all that Neverland baking talent to take her sale to the next level!

Save The Last Dance.  I think we are all on the edge of our seats when it comes to the unfolding drama of local dancer Aria Griffiths.  Last week at the dance, she sprouted wings and floated above the crowd (no, it wasn’t the floor show!).   As if that wasn’t enough, this brand new hum cum fairy was immediately thrown into a love triangle involving her longtime flame Charlie Hunter and new dance partner Andy Chambers.  Word has it that Charlie has decided to transfer back to Neverland U…guess this triangle is now a hypotenuse.

Sara Ramos
Which Austen Heroine Are You?
Millenium Falcon
Inspirational Quotes

Best Tweet Ever
Constance Moriarty Retweeted
Chiara @chiara84 6h
6 hours ago
Mansplainers handling advice from Jane Austen: “Elinor Agreed to it all, for she did not think he deserved the compliment of rational opposition.”


Posted in Neverspeak
Posted on March 28, 2017

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